Wisdom

J. Michael Shannon

When
it comes to learning the unvarnished truths about life, ask a child.
The following pearls of wisdom from children have been making rounds
on the web:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
8) You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
10) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.

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J. Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati, OH.

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Wisdom

J. Michael Shannon

Here are some words of wisdom making the rounds:

1. Keep your word soft and tender, because tomorrow you may have to eat them.
2. Opportunities are never lost; someone else will take the ones you miss.
3. Love, not time, heals all wounds
4. To ignore the facts does not change the facts.
5. Money doesn’t buy class
6. We should be glad God didn’t give us everything we asked for.
7. Everyone wants to live on the top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth comes while you are climbing it.

_______________
J. Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati, OH.

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Wisdom

J. Michael Shannon

WISDOM

Have
you seen any of these words of wisdom from bumper stickers?

* He who laughs
last thinks slowest

* Hard work has
a future payoff. Laziness pays off now

* All generalizations
are false, including this one

* We have enough
youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

* Always remember
you’re unique . . . Just like everyone else

* Warning: Dates
in Calendar are closer than they appear.

_______________

J.
Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati,
OH.

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Wisdom

J. Michael Shannon

Consider some of
these pearls of wisdom that have been passed on to us by way of the Internet.
1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
2. He who laughs
last, thinks slowest.
3. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

4. Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
5. Despite the cost
of living, have you noticed how living remains so popular?
6. Nothing is foolproof
to a sufficiently talented fool.
7. If the shoe fits, get another one just
like it.
8. You can’t have everything, where would you put it?

_______________

J.
Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati,
OH.

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Wisdom

J. Michael Shannon

There
is an old story about a lamb that got away from the rest of the flock as she munched
her meal. She did not notice a wolf approaching. When the wolf pounced, the lamb
begged the wolf saying, “Please don’t eat me. I have been eating grass and
that will make me bitter. I will taste better if you wait a while.” The wolf
thought that made sense. The lamb said, “If you let me dance the grass will
be digested faster and then you can eat me.” Once again the wolf agreed.
The lamb said, “I could dance faster if I had some music to dance to. Why
don’t you ring my bell so I can dance faster.” The wolf agreed. The wolf
rang the bell and that alerted the shepherd and he rescued the lamb. Sometimes
those who seem weakest are the wisest.

_______________

J.
Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati,
OH.

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Wisdom

An angel appears
at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and
exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth,
wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.

“Done!”
says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of
light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, “Say something.”

The dean looks
intently at his colleagues gathered around him and says, “I should have
taken the money.”

– Betsy Devine and Joel E. Cohen, Absolute Zero Gravity,
Simon & Schuster.

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