I got some bad news the other day: the software we use to record and maintain the subscriber files of Preaching is not “Y2K compliant.” That’s the shorthand the computer techies use to describe software that on January 1, 2000, will assume that it is now 1900 and, since computers didn’t exist then, will promptly blow up or similarly evaporate from view.
This whole mess occurred because when people were creating lots of the software we use, they wanted to save space in all that programming code. So instead of coding “1982” they just coded “82” and the computer was smart enough to insert the “19.” Except now this brilliant piece of technology isn’t smart enough to know that time doesn’t move backward.
Apparently the techies didn’t think about all this software still being in use when the year 2000 rolled around. They obviously don’t know me; I’m still using the eraser that Miss Evans gave me in fifth grade. (If it ain’t broke, don’t throw it out.) So now everybody who uses computers to manage information — banks, the IRS, schools, and little publishing companies like ours — must buy new software or have high-priced computer techies spend many hours (at a rate of approximately ten jillion dollars an hour) to make us “Y2K Compliant.”
Which suddenly starts putting things into perspective. Those computer programming guys created this problem, and now who do we have to hire to fix it? Same guys (or their kid brothers)! And it all comes into view: the year 2000 is not simply the turn of a new millennium. It’s the ultimate job security for computer programmers!
Now if only we preachers can figure out a way to convince our congregations that listening to our sermons will help them to become “LY2K Compliant.” It stands for “Life in the Year 2000 Compliant.” And best of all, it’s true!
