A stranger entered the church in the middle of the sermon and seated himself in the back pew. After a while, he began to fidget. Leaning over to a white-haired man at his side, evidently an old member of the congregation, he whispered: “How long has he been preaching?”
“Thirty or 40 years, I think,” the old man answered.
“I’ll stay then,” decided the stranger, “He must be nearly done.”
A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He entrusted his new assistant with filling the pulpit. The pastor’s wife stayed home. When he returned, the minister asked his wife what she thought of the young man’s sermon.
“The poorest I’ve ever heard,” she said. “There was nothing in it, nothing at all. It didn’t even make sense. It was very unorganized. I was disappointed.”
Later that day, the concerned minister met his assistant and asked him, “How’d the Sunday service and sermon go? Did all go well? How did you manage?”
“All went very well, sir, absolutely wonderful,” he said. “I didn’t have time to prepare a new sermon of my own on such short notice, so I got on your computer and pulled up one of your old sermon’s from last year.” (from Pastor Tim’s CleanLaugh List)
Terry Fator combines impressions with ventriloquism. He vaulted to fame by winning “America’s Got Talent” and received one of the most lucrative contracts in Las Vegas entertainment history. Terry recalls that when he was a young struggling entertainer, he went to perform at a fair and only one person showed up. Rather than cancelling the performance, Fator says he went ahead and did his show for that one patron. A few more people showed up, but they were there to tear down the stage. Fator believes he did the right thing by performing for one person, believing he still deserved the best. Preachers would do well to remember that. Whether the crowd is large or small, the listeners deserve our best.
One Sunday morning right after the worship service had ended, the pastor went and sat down with his wife. She asked him how he thought the service went.
The preacher shrugged and said, “The worship was excellent, but I just don’t think the sermon ever got off the ground.”
His wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself she said, “Well, it sure did taxi long enough!”