If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away
— you just might be a Scrooge
If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas
— you just might be a Scrooge
If you get your Christmas tree at a rest stop at night
— you just might be a Scrooge
If you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts
— you just might be a Scrooge
If your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park
— you just might be a Scrooge
If your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat
— you just might be a Scrooge
If your favorite pastime is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors’ string of Christmas lights
— you just might be a Scrooge
If your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin
— you just might be a Scrooge