10. Hey, now there's a gift!
9. Well, well, well…
8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes, that would've fit.
7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.
6. I sure hope this never catches fire! It is fire season, though. There are lots of unexplained fires.
5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
4. I love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.
2. To think…I vowed to give all the gifts I got this year to charity.
1. I really don't deserve this. (from Mikey’s Funnies)