?Bill Bryson writes about visiting Copenhagen in 1990 and was amazed to learn that Queen Margaret used to walk from the palace every morning to the shops to buy flowers and vegetables. He once asked a Danish citizen, “Who guards her?”
The citizen replied, “We all do.”
Who makes the church go? We all do. Who makes the church grow? We all do. The church is never “they” or “them.” It is always “us.”
?Thomas Edison thought the phonograph he invented had little commercial value.
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, Western Union said, “It has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.”
Harry Warner of Warner Brothers thought talking movies would not be successful, “Who wants to hear actors talk?” he asked.
Daryl Zanuck of 20th Century Fox said in 1946 that TV wouldn’t be able to hold any market after the first few months and that people would soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.
IBM was not interested in the copy machine when it was first invented in 1938 by Chester Carlson. They said it would never replace carbon paper.
People have been predicting the demise of the church for years, but the church today is stronger than ever. Through the years some have declared that God was dead; but God is still alive and well, and they are dead.
In the basement of America’s largest home, the Biltmore mansion in Asheville, North Carolina, you can see a model of the structure. The model was completed first as a guide to build the home. In Barcelona, Spain, you can visit, the still unfinished Sagrada Familia Church. They have been working on it for fifty years. They will show you a model of what the building will look like when it is finished.
We all need patterns. The Bible gives us a model for building Christ’s church. You can find it in Hebrews 8:5. If we want our churches to be pleasing to God, we need to follow His model.
They have found a previously undiscovered royal tomb in Egypt. It is from the era of the famed King Tut. The inscription says that the tomb was created for The Woman Who Nourished the Body of God. Since Egyptian kings regarded themselves as deities, it is likely that this was a wet nurse who fed the baby king. But the phrase is striking. Change one word and you have a description of many women who have served God across the years. For Paul calls the church “the body of Christ.” So we might call such a person: The Woman Who Nourished the Body of Christ.
-Robert Shannon, Preaching March/April 1998
A six-year-old girl and her
four-year-old brother were sitting together in church. The little boy
laughed, sang and talked out loud. Finally, the little girl had had
enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.” “Why? Who’s
going to stop me?” the little boy asked. His sister pointed to the
back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door?
They’re hushers.”
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J. Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati, OH.
The Bride of Christ
In her book The
Key to a Loving Heart, Karen Mains includes a parable about the church titled
“The Brawling Bride.” It tells about the most climactic moment in
a wedding ceremony. The families have been seated. The groom and his attendants
are in their places. The minister is waiting, Bible in hand. The bridesmaids
have come down the aisle. The organ begins the bridal march, and everyone rises.
A gasp bursts from the guest. The bride is limping. Her gown is ripped and covered
with mud. One eye is purple and swollen. Her hair is mussed. In the parable,
the groom is Christ. “Doesn’t He deserve better than this?” the author
asks. His bride, the church has been fighting again.
Ridiculous? Not
when we hear of churches with factions that sit on opposite sides of the aisle.
Not when one part of the congregation meets upstairs at the same time the rest
meet in the basement.
________________________
Sermons Illustrated
When
a new minister was introduced for the first Sunday of his ministry, he was surprised
and pleased to be greeted with sustained applause. Thanking them, he said that
he hoped for a long ministry with them. He said that when there is applause
at the beginning of a ministry, that’s faith. When there is applause in the
middle, that’s hope. When there is applause at the end of a ministry, that’s
charity!
_______________
J.
Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati,
OH.
A
man was coming out of church and stopped to greet the minister. The minister
grabbed the hand of the man and pulled the man aside. The preacher said to
him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” The man replied, “I’m
already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.” The puzzled minister questioned,
“How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?” The man
relied in a barely audible voice, “Shhh. I’m in the secret service.”
I am sure in God’s plan, none of us was meant for secret service.
_______________
J.
Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati,
OH.
It
is important to remember that Jesus did not quit meeting with His disciples because
Judas was a traitor and a thief, because Peter was fickle, or because Thomas had
his doubts. His disciples were at times rude, thoughtless, unkind, and selfish.
His disciples still sometimes manifest those attitudes. But He does not forsake
them; nor should we forsake them. Rather, we are to encourage the best and overlook
and forgive the rest. In this way, we can create a climate for growth, all the
while being thankful that people have been patient with us as well.
_______________
J.
Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati,
OH.
Forget all the church growth techniques you have
learned. Forget about seeker sensitive or purpose driven churches.
Forget about contemporary music or even the cowboy church. Catch the
next wave and be an Elvis church. At the Christ the King Graceland
Independent Anglican Church of Canada, Dorian Baxter, also known as the
“rockin’ Reverend.” presides looking very much like Elvis Pressley.
He sings a Christian version of “Blue Swede Shoes” that goes, “Well
it’s one for the Father, two for the Son, three for the Holy Spirit
and your life has just begun.” At his first service, Baxter welcomed
200 worshippers. Some don’t care for his idea so his church is an
independent Anglican church.
_______________
J. Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati, OH.
There was a congregation that decided to have four worship services each Sunday. There was one for those new to the faith. Another for those who liked traditional worship. One for those who’d lost their faith and would like to get it back. And another for those who had bad experiences with churches and were complaining about it.
They have names for each of the services: FINDERS, KEEPERS, LOSERS, WEEPERS.
(from Sermon Fodder and Joke A Day Ministries. To subscribe go to http://www.sermonfodder.com)
Rick Warren recently wrote, “God’s purpose for the church is also his purpose for every Christian. As individual followers of Christ we are to use our lives in worship, ministry, evangelism, discipleship and fellowship. The church allows us to do it together. We are not alone in serving him.
That’s why I love the church with all of my heart. It’s the most brilliant concept ever created. It has outlasted cultures, governments, skeptics, enemies from within and without, and it will continue to do so until Jesus returns.
We must love the church as Christ does and we must teach others to love the church also. “… Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of his body” (Ephesians 5:25, 29-30).
(To read the entire article go to http://www.baptistpress.com/bpcolumn.asp?ID=927)
After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, “The choir was awful this
morning.”
The father commented, “The sermon was too long.”
Their 7-year-old daughter added, “You’ve got to admit, Dad, it was a pretty good show for a dollar.”
(from www.mikeysfunnies.com)
Leo Cummins once wrote up a list of “Murphy’s Laws” for ministers.
They include the following:
1) The amount of flack received on any one subject
is inversely proportionate to that subject’s real value.
2) For every action
there is an equal and opposite criticism.
3) If weather is extremely bad,
church attendance will be down.
4) If weather is extremely good, church
attendance will be down.
5) If church bulletins are in short supply, church
attendance will exceed all expectations.
___________________________
Illustration by J. Michael Shannon, Professor of Preaching, Cincinnati Bible
College & Seminary, Cincinnati, OH.
I remember the late President of Princeton Theological Seminary and the World
Alliance of Reformed Churches, Dr. James I. McCord, telling the story of two
friends at a party. One confessed, “I don’t know who I am or where I’m
going or what I should be doing.” His friend quipped, “Don’t worry
about it! The Church is going through the same thing.”
_______________________
Illustration by: Robert R. Kopp,
Center Presbyterian Church, McMurray, PA
They have found a previously undiscovered royal tomb in Egypt. It is from the
era of the famed King Tut. The inscription says that the tomb was created for
The Woman Who Nourished the Body of God. Since Egyptian kings regarded
themselves as deities, it is likely that this was a wet nurse who fed the baby
king. But the phrase is striking. Change one word and you have a description of
many women who have served God across the years. For Paul calls the church
“the body of Christ.” So we might call such a person: The Woman Who
Nourished the Body of Christ.
When they inaugurated the city of Constantinople in 330 they wanted to honor
its founder and namesake. So they brought from Greece a statue of Apollo, but
they removed from the statue the head of Apollo and replaced it with a carved
image of the head of Constantine. Does it not seem sometimes that Christ has
been removed as the head of the church, and some other has been put in His
place? We commonly think of that in terms of famous names and famous people,
but some ordinary people can sometimes usurp Christ’s place as head of His church.
England’s Coventry Cathedral is one of the most impressive church buildings in
the world. The old Cathedral was destroyed by Nazi bombs during World War II.
After the war, Christian youth from Germany came over and helped clean up the
rubble. The architect left the ruins of the old church as a kind of forecourt
through which one passes to enter the new, breath-taking cathedral. But the
best part is in a niche on a side aisle. It is the head of Christ done by an
Arizona artist from metal taken from a wrecked automobile. The whole Christian
religion is thus symbolized. An artist takes the wreckage of a car and makes
the Head of Christ. God takes our sin-wrecked lives and makes the Body of Christ,
the Church.
It is said that when the great Italian artist Raphael was painting one of his
frescoes in the Vatican, two church cardinals were watching and criticizing his
work. One said that the face of the apostle Paul was too red, to which Raphael
is said to have replied, “He blushes to see into whose hands the church
has fallen.”
Now the church has fallen into our hands. We must not do anything that would
make the apostle Paul blush, nor do anything that would make the Lord Jesus
weep.