Sermon Illustrations

The regional manager at a retail chain forgets his first laptop on a store counter. When he returns, it's gone; so he reports it stolen. That night, he got a phone call from a person saying he was a police officer and they caught a man with his laptop. The officer said the manager's business card was taped to the laptop, and if he knew the laptop's password, the officer would know it was his. The manager gave him the password. The officer said thank you and hung up.

A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said, "Your honor, a juror is asleep."

A tourist walks into a curio shop in San Francisco. Looking around at the exotica, he notices a very lifelike, life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, but is so striking he decides he must have it.

Charles Lindbergh became an instant hero in 1927 when he became the first flyer to make a Trans-Atlantic solo flight. A reporter asked him just before take-off why he was taking only five sandwiches and container of water with him. Lindbergh replied, "If I get to Paris, I won't need any more, and if I don't get to Paris I won't need any more."

On her golden wedding anniversary, a grandmother revealed the secret of her long and happy marriage. "On my wedding day, I decided to choose 10 of my husband's faults, which (for the sake of our marriage) I would overlook," she explained. A guest asked her to name some of the faults. "To tell the truth," she replied, "I never did get around to listing them; but whenever my husband did something that made me hopping mad, I would say to myself, 'Lucky for him that's one of the 10.'"

A New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin. The city boy asked, "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"

Ken Blanchard points out, "Humility does not mean you think less of yourself. It means you think of yourself less."

Ben Kingsley starred as the main character in the motion picture Gandhi. He spent months preparing for the role, visiting the various Indian locales Gandhi had frequented. He even learned to spin cotton thread on a wooden wheel while holding conversations as Gandhi did. The physical resemblance between Gandhi and Kingsley was almost startling.

A manufacturing plant was in full swing one day. The company's massive machine was humming along, taking in the raw materials at one end and churning out the finished product at the other. Suddenly, the machine stopped and ground to a halt. Workers climbed all over it like ants to get it started again. The plant's manager stormed out of his office to find out why his multi-million-dollar machine wasn't making him any money. He listened to his people saying they couldn't figure it out, and he told them to call a technician.

What does a new heart cost? According to the May 16, 2010 issue of The New York Times Magazine, a new heart costs $864,700 to "procure, transplant and maintain with imnosuppressant drugs."