Sermon Illustrations

A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying...

A young lady busied herself getting ready for a blind date. This was not just dinner and a movie; her date had planned dinner at an exclusive downtown restaurant with live music and dancing. Wanting to make a good first impression she had taken the day off work. She cleaned her apartment; she went out that afternoon to have her hair done and get a manicure. When she got home she did her makeup, put on her best dress and was ready for her date's arrival. His expected arrival came and went, but she continued to wait patiently...

An elderly minister who survived the great Johnstown Flood of 1889 loved to regale audiences with tales of that harrowing event. When he died and went to heaven, he found himself in a meeting of saints who were sharing their life experiences. He took St. Peter aside and asked if he could tell about surviving the Johnstown Flood. Peter hesitated, then said, "Well, you can tell your story, but just keep in mind that Brother Noah will be in the audience...

Jake was dying, and his wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly...

Josh McDowell explains that, "An executive recruiter, a 'head-hunter' who goes out and hires corporation executives for other firms, once told me, 'When I get an executive that I'm trying to hire for someone else, I like to disarm him. I offer him a drink, take my coat off, then my vest, undo my tie, throw up my feet and talk about baseball, football, family, whatever, until he's all relaxed...

"This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about both. The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north...

"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?" (Satchel Paige)

Economist Richard Layard believes that although people are getting wealthier and living more comfortably, they're not getting happier. He argues in Happiness: Lessons from a New Science that a "zero-sum game of competition for money and status has gripped rich societies, and that this rate race is a big source of unhappiness...

In his book Quiet Strength, Tony Dungy, head coach of the Super Bowl Champion Indianapolis Colts, wrote of what was in his mind with 45 seconds to go before his team won the Super Bowl...