Sermon Illustrations

Ideas

The late Erma Bombeck made these New Year's resolutions: 1. I'm going to clean this dump just as soon as the kids grow up. 2. I will go to no doctor whose office...

After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was...

Discipline

I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my Mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she...

Murphy, a dishonest lawyer, bribed a man on his client's jury to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to the charge of murder brought by the state. The jury was out several days before they returned with the manslaughter verdict. When Murphy paid the...

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home. The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened. He kept on...

Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!" Along with...

You use your own saliva to clean your child's face. You have time to shave only one leg at a time. Your kid throws up and you catch it....

A man who lived on Long Island was able to satisfy a lifelong ambition by purchasing a very fine barometer. When the instrument arrived at his home, he was extremely disappointed to find that the indicating needle appeared to be stuck, pointing to the sector marked "HURRICANE." After shaking the...