Illustration: Complaints

An aspiring Yogi wanted to find a Guru. He went to an Ashram and his preceptor told him, "You can stay here but we have one important rule: all students observe a vow of silence. You will be allowed to speak in 12 years."

Illustration: Sin

In the devotional book My Heart -- Christ's Home Through the Year, Rick Ezell wrote this: "In his book Fuzzy Memories, Jack Handey writes: 'There used to be this bully who would demand my lunch money every day. Since I was smaller, I would give it to him. But then I decided to fight back. I started taking karate lessons. But then the karate lesson guy said I had to start paying him five dollars a lesson. So I just went back to paying the bully.'"

Illustration: Giving, Church

The boy came skipping into the house munching on a candy bar. "Where did you get it?" his mother asked. "I bought it with the dollar you gave me."

Illustration: Evil, Sin

In his message the Sunday after 9/11, John Huffman said, "Accept the fact that life is not easy and that there are wicked people in this world."

Illustration: Faith, Hope

In a sermon on the Sunday after 9/11, M. Craig Barnes said, "The French Philosopher Paul Ricoeur has written about the creative possibility of limit experiences. A limit experience is an experience that is beyond the limits of normal life. It's the one you spent most of life avoiding, dreading, defending yourself against, such as death and separation. Beyond the limits of those things, we think there's nothing but emptiness, loss and anomie; but as Dr. Ricouer reminds us, there is more. There is also God whose creative love knows no limits."

Illustration: Accuracy, Appearance

A university art student asked Bubba if he could paint Bubba's portrait for a class assignment. Bubba agreed, and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C-minus.

Illustration: Faith

Imagine a young girl asleep on the second story of her home. She awakes one night-middle of the night-and there is the smell of acrid smoke. She stumbles to the door and opens it to a sheet of fire. The young lady slams the door against the flames and stumbles to the window and stares down into the smoke and the darkness. From the ground below the young lady hears her father's voice saying, "Honey, jump!"

Illustration: Heaven, Cats

One day, a cat died of natural causes and went to heaven, where he meets the Lord. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let Me know."

Illustration: Compassion, Service

On May 2, 1962, a dramatic advertisement appeared in the San Francisco Examiner: "I don't want my husband to die in the gas chamber for a crime he did not commit. I will therefore offer my services for 10 years as a cook, maid or housekeeper to any leading attorney who will defend him and bring about his vindication."